Truth Behind Lies

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She was the most perfect girl I have ever met, her smile was the only thing I can’t regret, her style was the perfect asset, and the way she loved was a perfect basis. She was only 17 when I met her, her smile makes me stop breathing for a while, the way she act in front of me, makes my heart beat four times faster than before, I really need her to be mine forever, but I can’t… we cannot be. I am happy every time she was smiling, I hate myself for loving her, and even I know the fact I can’t.

Days and months passed, I’m so tired, so down, can’t walk nor crawl. Feelings that I can’t let go nor let it out. Too much in it, I want to quit but I can’t rid of it. I had fall once, but I don’t know if it will be the last. This is my SWEETIEST DOWNFALL, yeah the worst beneath the sweet. Even now I never know who I am. But I never care, all I know is I love her. I love you Mae, and that thing had changed the whole thing.

After 7 months of relation… It’s finally end up in breakup. It wasn’t easy of course. We really had something in common. But things end up the way it should be… I know no matter how much I love her. She won’t still love me the way I love her. She’s too beautiful for me. And I’m just an ordinary person who loves ordinary things. Well, right now, my heart is bleeding while I’m writing this. I’m at work right now, but I can’t focus. But I have to leave my problems behind… Well, I hate this feeling… I’m hurt.. Don’t know how to start.. But I hope someday, I could get over her… I love her… I love my mine so much but I have to let her go…

Fher now signing off….

Some girls are just unbelievable, they try to engage in a relationship but they’re not aware about their responsibilities. They don’t seem to understand that we need attention from them. Are girls really born stupid? Or is it just me over reacting to her way of handling me? Am I not important for her? I think it would be better to tell you my story and how she end up running away from because of being irresponsible, instead of giving you my opinion, right?

Way back 3 months ago she was with me, just like you, waiting for your girl friend to come and give you more time. Waiting and hoping… being understanding… at me. I was not aware that she is starting to let go of me and finding a new man to take care for her. It was about 6 months that I noticed the change a big change in her. I felt that she really ready to let me be alone. I am starting to ask myself, what have I done? I don’t have any other girl that might cause her to leave me. How many times you will forgive your girl friend? How many times you have to understand her? How many times did you count those times?

My girl friend I love was fall in loved to someone. These things broke my heart. There was a time I was asking myself, will there be any good things to happen to me? I try to look for answers to my problems. Some of the answer came later and some questions were not answered at all.

Sincerest thanks to Tarlac College of Agriculture for making this Java and Search Engine Optimization\Search Engine Marketing Seminar possible.

Truthbehindlies webmaster focused on introduction to search engine marketing & optimization, basic SEM campaign, keyword discovery & analysis, search engine processing basics, description, other assets, and good content (on-page optimization), tracking and fine tuning your website.

Sir Julio Cervantes gave a talk on Java Programming. This includes java applets and intermediate games.

Many thanks to the Tarlac College of Agriculture faculty staff and students who joined this seminar.

If you have made a blog post about the event, let me know and will link you up here. Cheers!

I never had anyone in my life I could think about from the moment I wake up till switching my computer in my house from work. Till I met her… She was very amazing considering I could stay up till morning just to have a great moment texting each other. We kept on getting to know each other as I found myself falling deeply in love with this girl. She was very extraordinary that I was very sure I could be anything she would need just to stay this way forever.

She was a little bit of a snob but I always find ways to make her smile. I love the way she gets irritated as well as the way she makes me feel content and happy. There’s nothing I could wish for when she confessed that she feels the same way for me. We were so happy. There was no doubt that she owns the biggest part of my life till something changed.

I was starting to feel that she’s tired of me. I did not tell her what I noticed. Instead, I started being extra- sweet to her to prevent my thoughts. But she kept on being silent each time we were together. I asked her many times if there’s something she’d like to talk about. If there’s any problem that if I could help. The situation got worse. To be able to have a message from her, I should be the first to text. I was starting to feel miserable knowing that from one moment we were so in love, the next moment I could hardly breathe, crying and putting myself together. She used to get angry if fell asleep while we were texting each other. The most painful fact that kills me until now… That she used to love me. Not anymore. I let go of her, my every little mine for the best. If that’s the only way for her to be happy again. I would always be glad to do it.

Now, I work overtime everyday just to get myself busy. I feel very miserable with the memories she had left me. I still cry every time I go to sleep. I love her so much and I could never find a way to stop…

A friend asked me yesterday…..”fher bakit hindi ka pa din makapag-move on? Does that mean you still love that someone who changed every single thing there in your life?” Honestly, napaisip ako…Bakit nga ba? Para ito dun sa mga taong pinipilit ibaon sa limot ang past…

Bakit kaya after a month of breakup, we’re still longing for that someone? Bakit kaya kahit iba na iyong buhay natin, we’re still trapped in those bittersweet memories, those moments which we wished to have lasted forever, those days which we never wanted to end? How sad ng buhay…after giving up so much to that someone, after loving that person so much, tayo pa iyong naiiwang umiiyak, nasasaktan…and then, keeping on asking ourselves, “what happened? what have i done wrong?” Di ba ang hirap sagutin nung mga what if ’s at could have’s natin? Kasi ang alam lang natin, ang hirap hirap tanggapin na tayo na nga iyong nagmahal ng totoo, tayo pa iyong nawalan. So in the end, ganito tayo, malungkot, always feeling alone, emotional, helpless… Ang hirap mag-pretend but we still do. We even make ourselves believe in so many things which we know are just so untrue…just to feel a little better.

I still can’t get over everything. The pain, the tears, the memories, everything that should have faded with time….everything’s still living here in my ever broken heart….

Isang araw after kong nag overtime sa work, sumakay ako ng jeep, ako lang sakay ni manong, bigla siyang nagsalita, sabi “hirap talagang pumasada, lalo kapag bihira ang sumasakay, magtataas na nga ang pasahe ulit” sumangayon ako, sabay tanong nya “nagmahal ka na noh?” “hirap talagang pakawalan ang taong sobrang mahal mo lalo kapag ipinangako mo sa sarili mo na sya na talaga hanggang huli”.

Sa tanong niya bigla kung naisip ang sarili ko, “ah oo manong tama ka dyan” sagot ko. Tinanong niya ulit ako kung marunong akong mag drive, sabi ko “oo”. “Kung ganun maiintindihan mo ako” sabi niya. Tinanong ko kung bakit? at sabi niya “ganito yan, ang gas, jeep at mismong daan ay parang pagibig…, driver ay ikaw. Pasahero sya. Minsan kahit gano kaayos ang daan, kahit full tank o kahit ok pa ang jeep mo, kapag gusto ng bumaba ng pasahero mo, wala ka ng magagawa. Minsan ipagkakatiwala mo sa taas ang manibela. “malay mo sa pagpasada mo ulit siya parin ang pumara at sumakay”.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit nasabi iyon ni manong sa akin, ang alam ko lang naka relate ako sa sinabi niya dahil sa nangyari din sa love life ko… May mga tao sa mundo na di mo kilala at di ka rin kilala pero makakatulong ang mga salita nila sayo. Siguro pinagtagpo kami ni manong para e turo sa akin ang aral na un.. Thankful naman ako dahil sa sinabi niya naibsan kahit papano ang sakit na nararandaman ko.