A lot of people who have been into a relationship breakup perceive a cool off to be a railroad towards final breakup or a one-way rough road heading into a steep cliff. Others even believe that it is an efficient alibi or a safer way of saying “goodbye†and dumping your partner once the relationship’s real score started to fall. For some, no matter how you introduce a cool off, it is always thought like a doorway to a maze where one enters with uncertainty whether what each turn and opening would bring, whether one could reach the other end, or even manage to go back.
Each of us has his own definition and perception of what a cool off is. We also have varying motives toward it, considering that each of us have different nature of relationship. However, in order to serve as a guide on how to properly slow down or end up a once treasured relationship, the need for a sound meaning of a cool off is a necessity just as the need to love and be loved is a necessity.
We can simply define cool off as a phase or state of feeling when one looses the intensity of love to somebody. The love’s intensity loss may be sudden or gradual due to an unexpected  disheartening event or character, discovery of something very discouraging, having stronger feelings to somebody else, etc.
A cool off is an option that a couple may opt and must be decided by each of the couple. It should be introduced with formality, sincerity and as much as possible, with gentleness. It should be discussed properly and in details to avoid consequences due to unnecessary or exaggerated presumptions. The terms, conditions as well as the duration must be properly defined and enumerated.
If one of the couple decided to prefer a cool off, the other, despite objections, must learn to accept it and cooperate to work for it, given that reasons and motives are acceptable and with valid basis. If the other partner cannot accept it and becomes violent, in any way, then a breakup can be chosen instead of a cool off.
Benefits of a Cool Off
Since each of us has a unique relationship, we may have varying basis or motive in choosing a cool off.  Nevertheless, a cool off  should center on the need to assess everything which aims to evaluate what one truly feels, expects, allows, and can give. With this, the following benefits can be obtained from a cool off:
- The opportunity to forgive yourself, your partner, and other persons involved for whatever misdeeds, mistakes, shortcomings or errors done.
- The chance to correct and resolve issues affecting the relationship.
- A sufficient time to think and evaluate possible and doable solutions that may enhance or settle the relationship.
- A challenge to change and learn to be a better partner.
- An ample time to accept realities and boost self esteem.
- An opportunity to gather criticisms, advises, suggestions and recommendations from real concerned people.
- A space to miss each other and dissipate doubt and confusion.
While a cool off may sound something “nega†in nature, one can find real benefits from it if we look at it the other way around and carry it out maturely.
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Richard O. Marzan
Life Coach. Â Photographer. Â IT Specialist. Â Entrepreneur.
www.shrichdigicomp.com
http://www.facebook.com/richard.marzan
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